September 24, 2024 // Local
‘That Man Is You’ Helps Men Renew Relationship with Christ
Scott Kovatch knows the power of personal invitation. He can point to two casual invitations from friends which each led to a powerful change in the trajectory of his spiritual life. The first came in college.
A cradle Catholic, Scott fell away from his faith as a young adult, favoring the hedonistic lifestyle present on his college campus. But that all began to change for him and his roommate after one particular night of partying.
“I’ll never forget,” Kovatch told Today’s Catholic. “We had just had a big party night – huge party night. And we woke up on Sunday morning, and my roommate just looked at me and very simply said to me, ‘We gotta get back to church.’”
“It was just very simple. He didn’t go in depth,” Kovatch recalled. “And I remember thinking, ‘Yeah, we need to get back to church.’”
“And then we went to the 4 p.m. Mass at St. Paul’s Church in Bloomington,” he continued. “That new invitation, to this cradle Catholic, set me on another trajectory. And I’m forever grateful for that.”
Fast forward to the fall of 2021. Kovatch was working as a social worker, raising six kids with his wife, Jill, and attending St. Pius X Parish in Granger, when a friend and fellow parishioner invited him to attend something called That Man Is You (TMIY), a ministry for men at the parish. On the strength of their friendship, Kovatch decided to blindly check it out.
“What I remember is, after the invitation, I came into the room at St. Pius where TMIY was at that time, and there were probably 100 to 110 guys there,” Kovatch said. “The energy of the room was unparalleled. The welcoming and the fellowship was not anything I expected. And what I know, at the moment it happened: I wanted more of that. I wanted to see what was in this room and what was going to happen. Because I didn’t know. I didn’t know the structure. I didn’t know the layout. I didn’t know what was going on. I had an idea I was going to learn about my faith.”
Crucially, Kovatch notes, “I didn’t realize my thirst and hunger for fellowship.”
What he encountered that day – the vehicle for that life-changing Christian fellowship – was the third series of Paradisus Dei’s That Man Is You program to be held at St. Pius X, which began using the program in 2019.
Similar to the well-known Alpha program, That Man Is You has a simple format that begins with a small time for fellowship before participants watch a video and then discuss it in small groups. However, it has a number of features, apart from its single-gender audience, that make it distinct.
Paradisus Dei prayerfully discerns a theme for each year, meaning there is always new content for participants to receive as they continue in the program. Additionally, the videos feature a variety of well-known speakers, and their content is tied to the liturgical calendar – this year’s spring semester will take place during Lent and feature videos shot on location in the Holy Land.
Scott Hahn and Deacon Harold Burke Sivers each have been presenters in past seasons, whose themes have included: “Becoming a Man After God’s Own Heart,” “The Vision of Man Fully Alive,” “The Fight of Faith,” “All Things New,” “Thy Kingdom Come,” “Worthy of the Call,” and “Apostles of the New Springtime.”
The theme for 2024-25, broken up between a fall and spring season, is “The Light of Men,” and speakers will include Peter Kreeft, Ralph Martin, and Paradisus Dei Founder and President Steve Bollman.
Kovatch recalls how impactful one of Bollman’s talks was for him when he first joined That Man Is You.
“He showed, statistically, the trajectory of what was happening in families,” Kovatch said, noting the prevalence of divisions, divorce rates, and addictions. “And that was very powerful and very telling to me. It painted a sense of urgency early for me that this was very real. … He really spoke of: ‘It’s time for men to step up.’”
And step up they do. Kovatch has been involved in That Man Is You since his first series in 2021, and he currently serves as a leader in the ministry. He can easily point to the fruit it is bearing for those involved.
“This ministry wants to support and work in union with our respective pastors to grow the Kingdom of God,” Kovatch said. “We have seen an increase in engagement with their relationship with Jesus Christ. Growing that relationship has led to tangible things like men being more patient, kind, considerate listeners to one another, their family, and friends. Men have become more involved in the beautiful gifts the Church gives us in confession, adoration, participation in the Mass. They carry a greater knowledge and deep love and desire for Jesus – body, blood, soul, and divinity. More men want to help at home and at church as ministers of hospitality, cantors, Eucharistic ministers, and more.”
It’s not just the formational videos that help to make this impact. Importantly, much of its success can be credited to the working of the Holy Spirit and the power of fellowship – the ability to truly build and foster brotherhood that is rooted in Christ and dares to be vulnerable and accountable.
When they join, men are placed into small groups that they then journey with through the entirety of a season, and oftentimes these groups will choose to stay together for more than one year.
“One of the guys calls the small groups the ‘secret sauce’ of TMIY,” Kovatch shared.
The confidentiality of what is shared during table discussion is something That Man Is You strictly honors; their “Ten Commandments of the Table” is clear that “what we say here stays here,” Kovatch noted.
“Men struggle with hunger and thirst in their lives. Each has a story of faith, hope, and love. But also, each has a story of suffering and struggle,” Kovatch told Today’s Catholic. “We really try to protect the confidentiality of what the men share. A lot of them are going through various forms of suffering. Some may have just gone through a divorce, some struggle with pornography, drugs, alcohol.”
Having a place to share honestly with brothers in Christ means having a place to find mentors and receive support.
One of the young men who was in Kovatch’s small group would show up week after week but hardly say anything. “He was just very quiet,” Kovatch said. “He was there all the time – he showed up every week. And finally, he started talking … about things he struggled with as a young, single guy. But also, he was wrestling with, ‘how do I live a chaste life? Because I feel like this may be what God is calling me to do, is to be a single chaste man.’ And he finally opened up on that to me, and I was so honored and so touched that he shared the depths of that.”
Their relationship evolved into a mentorship, with deep conversations over coffee and text communication whenever there’s a need for prayers or advice. “I was not expecting [this], and I feel very blessed,” Kovatch said.
St. Pius X’s That Man Is You meetings end with group prayer, which includes prayers of petition and thanksgiving. This prayer time serves as another important space for support.
Kovatch shared a story of a participant whose wife was in need of a double lung transplant.
“It was very desperate,” he said. “[The husband] had been praying for her for almost two years. He would come to these sessions, and he would pray for his wife.”
“One of the Saturdays, he didn’t pray for her,” Kovatch continued. “One of the guys came to him immediately afterwards and said, ‘Hey, is everything OK with your wife?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, she’s fine.’ The other guy said, ‘Well, why didn’t you offer prayers for her? Was there a reason?’ And he said, ‘No. I feel like I kind of take everybody’s time every week with that.’ And the other guy responded, ‘Look, we’re a band of brothers. We persevere in prayer.’”
The woman was later able to get her double lung transplant and then had the honor of being the only woman to come to a St. Pius X That Man Is You meeting in order to celebrate the answer to prayers.
Since first joining as a participant in 2021, Kovatch has gone on to be a small group facilitator and core team leader, and he is now the event’s emcee. But, he feels the Lord has even bigger plans.
While increasing his time in adoration last Lent, Kovatch would often pray, “Lord, what is your will?” And through his prayer, he began to feel a tug to try to grow That Man Is You within the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend and in neighboring dioceses. How that will unfold has yet to be seen, but Kovatch hopes that more men will be similarly blessed by this ministry.
Reflecting on that fateful invitation to That Man Is You, Kovatch said: “When I came in September of 2021, I had no clue the depths of what I needed to do in working on my relationship with Jesus Christ. There was so much I didn’t know as a cradle Catholic.”
“And I wanted more of it,” he continued. “Not only what TMIY was teaching in the video content, but I also wanted more of that fellowship and to discuss those things with my brothers around me. And I wanted that knowledge to be for the good of others, not just me. Certainly it was for my betterment, but I wanted to be able to share that. We’re called to go forth and share the Good News.”
More Information
Along with St. Pius X Parish in Granger, three other parishes in the diocese host That Man Is You groups, including St. Thomas the Apostle in Elkhart, Christ the King in South Bend, and Holy Family in South Bend. To learn more about That Man Is You, visit
paradisusdei.org/that-man-is-you.
Women’s Group
St. Pius X Parish in Granger recently began hosting a women’s initiative, She Shall Be Called Woman, which was developed by the founders of That Man Is You. Read about She Shall Be Called Woman in the October 6 issue of Today’s Catholic.
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