September 13, 2024 // Diocese

Teams of Our Lady Helps Couples Put God at the Center of Their Marriages

Cathi Kennedy

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God. This grace proper to the Sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they ‘help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children’” (No. 1641).

I will admit that I did not look to “attain holiness” in my marriage until recently. I understood that I was committed to my husband “till death do us part,” but a holy marriage? We both believed in God and were in agreement that He needed to be at the center of our lives. We agreed that we would raise our children accordingly. But holiness was not a goal so much as raising our boys to be good humans amidst meal planning and loads of laundry.

However, a few years ago, when our priest asked my husband and me if we would like to join a new Teams of Our Lady group, we jumped at the chance. It was God’s perfect timing.

Teams of Our Lady is an international organization that dates back to 1930 and is dedicated to enriching marriages through building the spiritual lives of husbands and wives. Each team consists of five to seven couples who meet monthly, pray together, share a meal, and, most importantly, encourage and support one another as they walk the road of Christian marriage.

In May, Pope Francis applauded the Teams of Our Lady organization and its commitment to the Sacrament of Marriage. “It is a true mission today to accompany couples!” the pope said. “To safeguard marriage, in fact, means to safeguard an entire family; it means to save all the relationships generated by marriage: the love between spouses, between parents and children, between grandparents and grandchildren.”

St. Monica Parish in Mishawaka has several married couples who have been a part of Teams of Our Lady for decades. 

Ed and Mary Quiett first joined in 1983 through Little Flower Parish in Indianapolis. After several moves, they’ve been with a South Bend-based team since 1996.

“Teams [of Our Lady] taught us the importance of adding ‘being a couple’ into the other roles in our lives: parent, coach, grandparent, stay-at-home mom, employed father,” Ed told Today’s Catholic. “The monthly sit-downs became our date night where we discussed our married life. It gave us time to refocus on us and the things that brought us together. Teams reinforced our marriage bond and strengthened us as a couple.”

Once a couple commits to being a part of a team, there are certain endeavors the couple is asked to follow, including: regular reading of Scripture; daily period of meditation (individual prayer); daily conjugal (couple) and family prayer; monthly sit-down with your spouse and Christ; following a Rule of Life – a private individual endeavor for improvement; and attending an annual Teams of Our Lady retreat.

The team my husband and I are a part of has couples from all stages of marriage: with young children at home, children in high school, married children, and empty-nesters. It’s helpful to have this intersection of ages and stages as we can encourage and support one another through life.

“With all life’s changes, Teams continues to strengthen our couples,” Ed said. “Our team members have been at our side to share our joys and sorrows. With some members, we are close friends; with others, our friendship is more casual. But we gather each month with a team of like-minded individuals dedicated to reinforcing and supporting our marriage vows.”

Mary Quiett reinforced this, saying that “Teams has taught us that commitment in a marriage takes forgiveness, support, prayer, grace, humility, discipline, determination, vulnerability, mercy, tears, and lots of laughter.”

Being in a Teams group has strengthened our faith individually and as a couple, and it has shown our sons that we hold our marriage as something worth working on – and that the commitment and work doesn’t end. Every day we choose to put God and each other first before our own needs.

This testimony to our children has played out in the Quietts’ own family, as their son, Zachary Quiett, and his wife, Lauren, are in the Teams group with my husband and me.

“Teams of Our Lady played a formative role in shaping who I am as an adult,” Zachary said. “As a young adult, I had strayed from the Catholic faith I was raised in. However, through the love and patience of my wife, I began to return to the Church. I remember the comfort of coming back to a Church filled with familiar faces who knew me well and prayed for my journey to heaven. Many of these people are from the Teams of Our Lady group my parents have been involved with for more than 20 years. Their examples of faith gave me the space to grow in Christ. As Lauren and I build our family, I want my children to experience that same comfort in the Church.”

Now that my husband and I are empty-nesters, I understand how a couple can get lost in raising their children and forget what brought them together. Belonging to a Teams group has reinforced all that we knew to be true at the beginning of our marriage – namely, that God had brought us together to love and serve each other.

Pope Francis reinforced the importance of the Teams endeavors, saying: “In this year dedicated to prayer, may you help discover and rediscover the joy of praying together at home, with simplicity and in daily life.”

“Teams has provided a strong foundation for growth in our marriage as we journey with Christ,” Zachary said. “It has allowed us to step back to appreciate the wonders that God has placed in our marriage and the strength and tools to lean on our faith in times of struggle. It has brought us closer to God and one another. I hope that our marriage and those of our team members serve as an example of the Sacrament of Marriage to our children as we all strive to sainthood.”

Find out more about the Teams of Our Lady organization at teamsofourlady.org.